Mission Statement

We see the need to support betrayed men. Conversations with sexually betrayed men, along with detailed study of scientific literature on infidelity, establish this need. We believe that context can clarify meaning. 

Men experience betrayal differently than women. Betrayed men who have read and listened to self-help and popular material about infidelity, or who have sought specialist support, state this consistently. Scientific literature about infidelity documents such differences, and reasons for them. 

We base our support on the relationship investment model. This approach identifies commitment as the cornerstone of marriage. It also holds that betrayed spouses are not responsible for unfaithful spouse’s decisions and actions. For clarity, we believe that men are never responsible for their spouse’s infidelity.  

Betrayal impacts all aspects of men’s humanity. Uniqueness of individual and situational experiences requires adaptive support approaches, not models. We assist men in processing their experiences through attentiveness and sharing information. We avoid idealizations and advice-giving. 

We are not aware of scientific research centered on reasons why betrayed men choose to stay. Betrayed men, however, speak of conscientiousness that they cannot act against. Some speak of faith-based and code-based motivations. Many state that their family’s security and legacy are their reasons for staying.  

Men who choose to stay possess high distress tolerances. They speak of grit, fortitude, and steadfastness, along with willingness, which must align with their conscientiousness. Men state that this combination of qualities enables them to process and master their difficult realities.

We support men in processing their betrayal experiences, regardless of relationship outcome. Conscientious men tend to speak of the absence of choices. We believe that conscientiousness integrates distinct forms of choice. We believe that marriages damaged by infidelity can be reconstituted. This, however, requires extraordinary multilateral efforts.  

We believe that betrayed men need adaptive, flexible support. We recognize the paucity of research and resources for men. We created this platform as a base for research, awareness, networking, support, and camaraderie.